By 1895, Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known as Mark Twain, was broke.
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Twain was obsessed by technology and repeatedly lost money by investing in technological marvels.
These marvels all failed to go into industrial production.
To mend his finances, Twain decided on a world tour of 150 lectures.
In September 1895, he arrived in Australia and proceeded to give "at home" talks in a number of cities to delirious applause.
Because Twain was a close observer of life, his remarks are interesting reflections of life in the Australian colonies at the time.
For example, he noted that "Sydney harbour was superbly beautiful".
However, he stated that "God made the harbour … but Satan made Sydney".
Twain travelled down to Melbourne by rail.
His comments about disembarking in the "biting cold at night" in Albury, to change trains, a usual requirement until the standard-gauge rail line was installed from Sydney to Melbourne in the 1960s, are succinct.
“Think of the paralysis of intellect that gave that idea birth.”
He described "the Melbourne Cup as the Australian National Day"
Even then, the race stopped not a nation but all seven colonies.
“Cup Day is supreme – it has no rival,” he said.
One of my two favourite quotations of Twain’s time in Australia come from his time spent in Ballarat.
He stated that the English spoken in Ballarat was the finest in Australia.
Coo-ee: More Benalla characters
A waitress who served his meal shortened "Thank You" to "Q".
He related a chambermaid’s morning comments, with its mislaid "y" - "The tyble is set, and here is the piper (paper); and if the lydy is ready I’ll tell the wyter to bring up the breakfast.”
Twain describes Australians as having "English friendliness with English shyness and self-consciousness left out".
My other favourite is where Mark Twain states that "Australian history … does not read like history, but the most beautiful of lies".
Although he did not visit Queensland, Twain was critical of the bird-birding being undertaken at that time to supply labour for the canefields.
He was also entranced by Maori and Aboriginal place names used in Australia and New Zealand.
Later, he published a 12-stanza poem entitled A Sweltering Day in Australia.
It used the names he had gathered in his travels. One stanza gives its flavour:
Paramatta and Binnum are gone to their restIn the vale of Tapanni Taroom,Kawakawa, Deniliquin - all that was bestIn the earth are but graves and a tomb.
Coo-ee: Benalla before the railway came through
When Twain visited Horsham on his return train trip from Adelaide, he said: "Horsham sits in a plain which is as level as a floor - gray, bare, sombre, melancholy, baked, cracked, in the tedious long drouths (sic).”
During his visit, Twain also visited Geelong, Castlemaine, Hobart, Maryborough, the Blue Mountains, the Hawkesbury River, Stawell, Newcastle and Scone.
He left Australia for India on January 4, 1896, abrim with ideas that later appeared in his books and stories. The tour also repaired his finances.
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