The mother of four - the youngest of whom was the man’s child - said if it wasn’t for a friend offering her a private rental at the end of last year, she would probably still be there.
‘‘I don’t know what would have happened then,’’ she said.
‘‘It was absolutely horrific. My mental health was so bad and I felt completely powerless.
‘‘On top of what I was living with, I was homeschooling the kids and studying. It was just horrible.’’
Lisa, who is a full-time student, said it was impossible to find a house under $400 a week that accommodated for her family.
‘‘Everything was out of my range. I felt like my choices were severely limited,’’ she said.
Lisa told her ex-partner of seven years she was leaving him early last year after the cycle of abuse had started.
‘‘After we had a child together, it got a lot worse,’’ she said.
‘‘It started with things like controlling behaviour and jealousy, not wanting me to go to the gym and hanging out with my friends.
‘‘I thought ‘I’m not putting up with this’ and we separated but I had nowhere to go.’’
Lisa said she reached out to local real estate agents who couldn’t help.
‘‘It was completely humiliating having to tell them about my situation,’’ she said.
‘‘I didn’t want to have to tell a complete stranger about my life but I felt like I had to. But their response was ‘sorry we can’t help you. More people are moving to town and you don’t present well to landlords’.’’
Although Lisa stayed in the spare bedroom of the home, the abuse continued.
‘‘He would prevent me from leaving the room and get on top of me with the doona on my throat and knees on my shoulder,’’ she said.
‘‘He strangled me and swung me around by neck and threw me to the ground. He would also break things of mine.
‘‘I was scared and my family were scared for me.
‘‘He was not abusive to the kids and would usually do it when the older three kids were visiting their dad every second week.’’
In December, a friend offered Lisa her home to rent privately as she was moving.
‘‘I don’t know what I would have done if not for this,’’ she said.
‘‘I’d possibly still be there.’’
Lisa said she and her ex-partner shared custody of their child, but he didn’t know where she lived.
‘‘Things are so much better now we’re not living together as he doesn’t have control over my life,’’ she said.
‘‘I was lucky because I had friends and family looking out for me. I worry about local people who don’t have the kind of resources and support that I did.
‘‘There are a lot of people worse off than me and I can’t imagine what it would be like without any support.’’
● Anyone experiencing domestic violence can call the Women’s Domestic Violence Crisis Service on 180 015 188, National Sexual Assault, Family and Domestic Violence Counselling Line on 1800 737 732 and the Centre for Non-Violence in Bendigo on 1800 884 038.
In an emergency, call 000.
If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault or domestic violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800737732 or visit 1800RESPECT.org.au
* not her real name.
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